"Fat March" rolls through town

My dad called me yesterday and said there was a big film crew down on the pier near where he lives, and suggested I go down there and see what's up.

So I drove to the beach in my 1987 Dodge Aries K sedan and saw a bunch of production vehicles parked in the lot. I got out and walked over to the pier. There were a couple of guys standing near the entrance to the pier, so I walked up and asked what was being filmed there.

One of them (Steve) said, "It's a reality TV show."

"Really?", I asked, "Which one is it?"

"I can't say."

"Fair enough," I said, and noticed a group of large, like, REALLY large people digging in the sand flats next to the pier while being filmed. I remembered my wife telling me about a newspaper story describing a reality show where fat people were in a walking race from Boston to Washington, DC, and along the way they had a bunch of challenges/contests.

"Hey," I said, "Is this that fat person race?"

"Yeah," said Steve, "And they're digging for clams."

I looked over at them. They were some BIG people. I joked, "Hey, maybe I should see if they need another contestant!"

Steve looked at me and said, "You're not that fat!"

Hmmm, I thought, that was quite a left-handed compliment. By saying I wouldn't be accepted, he basically agreed that I was fat; but not SO fat that I would qualify for a reality TV show about fat people.

I'm still not sure how I feel about that...but I AM thinking about going on a diet!

They had a massive 16' crane on the pier, which is a nice piece of equipment. I tried walking down the beach to check out the filming, but several production assistants quickly materialized and asked me not to take pictures. I snapped a few quick ones anyway, but I didn't want to upset anyone so I didn't make a point of arguing.

The contestants slogged their way back from the sand flats, looking exhausted after digging on their hands and knees for clams. Some had mesh bags of clams in tow.

I asked Steve about the challenges. He was good and didn't reveal much, but he did say that they had to compete to see who got the most clams. And that they DID bury some live clams ahead of time on the flats. There was a scale hanging off the pier to weigh them for the cameras.

Which made sense, because those people were collecting huge amounts of clams in a short time. Probably anyone who wants to make a clam-killing can rake the sand today and get a decent haul.

Look for "Fat March" on ABC this Fall!