Wanna know who your daddy is? Huh? Do ya?
Do you want to know who won the NCAA Men's basketball pool, without correctly picking even a single Final Four team?
ME!!! That's who!
Yes sirree! I managed to win Joyce's boss's little Knights of Columbus bar pool by picking a shitload of teams to win the first two rounds, and then having the good fortune of none of the Number One seeds getting into the Championship semi's and finals. Which means it didn't matter who I picked, 'cause NOBODY picked the eventual winners.
Somehow, my absolute uncanny brilliance at selecting obscure teams to upset favorites got me enough points in the first couple rounds to allow me to coast in and win! It sure helped that UConn, Duke, Villanova and Memphis all sucked ass in the Elite Eight round! Thanks, suckers!
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! In your FACES KofC mofo's! I gots ALL yo' money now, chumps! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! I'm your DADDY, beeyotches!
You get NOTHING!!!
Good day, sir!!!
/gloating mode OFF
(...uh, what the hell is wrong with me? Sorry about that little outburst. Who'da thunk Florida would win it all? Damn)