The Perfect Excuse

Lately (as you can read about below) I've been feeling guilty about neglecting my post-production duties in lieu of having fun this summer. I know I should be busy in the editing room working on my video short, but I'd rather enjoy this wonderful weather.

So I started thinking about possible excuses I could give to people who ask me how things are going with the project. Suddenly, the answer dawned on me, courtesy of our Commander-in-Chief, G.W. Bush.



Joyce: When are you going to finish that movie?
Me: Mission Accomplished!
Joyce: You mean it's done?
Me: Didn't you hear me? Mission Accomplished!
Joyce: So when can I see it?
Me: SEE it? It's not READY yet! What part of Mission GODDAMNED Accomplished DIDN'T you understand?
Joyce: (stunned silence)

HOLY SHIT! G.W. used that phrase to perfection! I can put everyone off simply by saying "Mission Accomplished" over and over, while not actually getting ANYTHING done! It's fucking BRILLIANT!

Wow, I only WISH G.W. could run again, 'cause I'd vote for him this time for SURE! He's given me the perfect excuse for not completing ANYTHING ever again. I fucking LOVE "Mission Accomplished"!

Thanks, George. I don't know what I'd do without you.

An Apology to my Blog

----------------------------------------------------

Dear Blog,

Look, I know I've been ignoring you lately. It isn't you...it's me. Honest. You're fine. You've ALWAYS been fine. The problem is with me. I don't want to be insensitive to your needs, but it's just that lately I've had things I had to do. And sometimes, that means I might not have enough time for you. I'm sorry.

You have every right to be angry with me. I've behaved badly. I've ignored you to go out and have fun sailing almost every day. I really don't want to hurt you, but I have to be true to my feelings, and right now I'm kind of in love with my sailboat.

We can still be friends, can't we? In fact, you'll always be special to me. I'd like to think that when this little fling is over, we can get back together and have things just like they were. Just think of this like a little vacation from each other. We can still stay in touch. I'll even make it a point to drop you a line every week or so. It's just that things are different now, and we both have to accept it.

Listen, we're still friends, right?

----------------------------------------------------

God that was creepy. I started feeling like a sleezeball just for writing it!

Anyway, things are a little up in the air right now regarding our projects. Between Antony and me, we've got a lot of vacation time we'll be taking this Summer, and there's always the boat calling me. But we're still working on getting our shows on the air, and I'll be posting stuff on a regular basis, but not nearly every day like I was when we were in production. I expect to get this back on a normal basis sometime after Labor Day.

Thanks for reading, and don't worry, there will still be stuff worth reading here. But don't forget to shut off your computer and enjoy the nice weather once in a while!

Oh no, not ANOTHER vampire movie?

Not a lot happening on the movie front right now. We're still trying to get our requisite TV shows put together for broadcast on public access so we can qualify to use the Premiere editing suites for the flick; the Casablanca stations don't allow for password protection of your work, and we've already had a problem with some moron deleting Antony's project off of it. Once we can use the PC-based systems, we can easily backup to a USB portable drive.



I had an idea for a vampire movie yesterday, so I wrote up a quick treatment last night. It's a horror/comedy, which seems to be a genre I'm slowly being seduced into. I don't know why, but I've always gotten a kick out of being frightened and laughing at the same time. I'm going to watch "Shaun of the Dead" for inspiration.



Monday evening my wife and I invited Antony to bring his family out for a sail on our boat. I'd never met Mary and their son Brian before, but they're really nice and a lot of fun. Brian did a great job steering the boat, too. He's a natural born pirate!

An Update

This is an Update. I'm not doing it because I have much news to report. Because the fact is, I don't. But so many people are bugging me for updates (well, the voices in my head are...hey, they're imaginary people too!) that I'm going to post something here.

However, I CAN promise there IS stuff going on, and it's really interesting. It's just I can't say much about it until things develop further. Call me "Mister Mysterio" if you wish, but I won't fold under questioning.

By the way, right now I'm watching Morgan Spurlock's "30 Days" premiere on FX. It's quite good. He's captured the same humor and manic documentary style that made "Supersize Me" so much fun. He's like a slimmer Michael Moore, minus the vicious conservative backlash and slurs about where his loyalties lie.



Morgan Spurlock and fiancee Alex
Speaking of TV, I just saw a commercial that made me cringe. Please, somebody tell me that the new show, "The Princes of Malibu" is just a sick joke, that they're NOT making another reality show about spoiled, rich kids with no moral compass or consequences for their actions. For fuck's sake, has sociopathetic behaviour suddenly become "cool"? Would I be cooler if I was MORE of an asshole? (Of course, my wife would debate whether that's even POSSIBLE)

Oh, and this week I watched "Pi" (the 1998 David Aronofsky movie; awesome flick!), "Kinsey" (not bad at all), and a guilty pleasure: "Fight Club" (ya gotta love that potty-mouthed Helena Bonham Carter). Faulted though it is, Fight Club is a crazy wild flick. Check your logic at the door and step aboard for a fun ride.

Okay, that's my non-update Update. For someone who didn't have anything to say, I sure as hell took a long time to shut the fuck up.

Transferred the last day's footage

Last night we transferred the mini-DV footage from the final day's shoot onto DVD and VHS. There's a total of maybe 170 minutes of footage for our 10-minute short. We've got a LOT of great scenes with our actors, plus a bunch of freakin' hysterical moments for our blooper reel!

Here's James looking very creepy in his costume. Eat your heart out Bergman!



Below, Michael emotes terror for a big scene. Check out how the wide-angle lens makes the walls curve; I think it looks really cool and helps convey the feeling of anxiety that the scene contains.




We're trying throw together some quicky TV shows for broadcast on Public Access, because once we have 4 or 5 shows done, we'll "graduate" to the bigtime editing suites and be able to use Premier to edit our flick.

I've got about an hour of sailing footage I'm going to staple together to make one or two 24-minute shows, and hopefully get them scheduled for broadcast in a few weeks. Ant taped an Hispanic festival last weekend, and he's trying to cut that for another show. Plus, my friend Lori has gotten her cooking show nearly done, and I exec-produced some of them, so they'll count as "my" shows when they're broadcast.

With luck, we'll be able to meet the minimum requirement shortly, and have the luxury of working with the high-end editing equipment. We owe it to our actors and ourselves to do a great job with our movie.

Post production

Time to edit our flick. Here's what we need to do:

1. Transfer all our footage to the editing workstation. We have about 2 hours of filmed material we need to sort through.

2. Edit a rough cut. Ant already put together about two minutes, and it looks really good. Once we transfer the rest of our footage, we'll assemble a complete rough cut.

3. Examine the rough cut for pacing and continuity. Make notes for additional editing and any scenes that require an additional shoot.

4. Cut a more polished version of the movie based on our notes.


No, we didn't shoot on film; I just like this picture
5. Work on the audio. Since we've had various microphones and some audio problems, we'll have to work on getting better sound. It's been said that nearly 50% of the success of a movie is because of good audio. If you have a great picture but uneven sound, you take your audience out of the story.

6. Work with my friend Lori, who's a composer and performer, to produce a soundtrack for the movie.

7. At some point, get the reshoots if needed and edit them into the mix.

8. Put it all together and hope for the best.

That's where we are now. We're also in pre-production for our next movie, which we'll shoot as soon as possible. But for now, we've got the editing station reserved for this coming Monday. Now the REAL work begins!

Take a look at my sailing blog

Since the weather's finally gotten nice here in New England, I noticed that my interest in boating has been slowly infiltrating my filmmaking blog. So, in the interest of keeping my life as organized as possible, I've started a separate sailing blog. It's called the Full Tilt Sailing Team. Because my boat is called "Full Tilt". It's a name that I chose to convey both the boat's speed and my attitude regarding life.



The skipper with his Hoyo de Monterrey cigar
Basically, it's got minimal editorial content, but lots of pictures. Because, you know, people don't really give a crap about what I have to say. And I can't blame them in the least. Not one bit.

Yesterday I created a new acronym for the Internet; feel free to use it in online chat situations. WGAS. Meaning, "Who Gives A Shit"? Watch for WGAS to take the 'net by storm. Get ready to be amazed.

I know...BFD.

Recent blog changes

In response to overwhelming complaints from the readers of this blog (well, my wife suggested this), I've made some changes here to make things easier.

The biggest improvement is the change that limits the maximum amount of posts visible to ten, instead of the 30 or 40 it previously showed. That'll help the blog load a lot faster, especially for those of you who have dial-up (Joyce), or slow-ish DSL (like me).

I'm also going to be tweaking the blog's template to make it more funnier; see if you can find the changes scattered about. Whenever I don't have something new to post for a while I'll do something goofy with the template. And I'm going to be updating my photo soon...I'm getting sorely tired of the old picture; I can only imagine how awful it is for you.

"Vote for Pedro"

What can I say? This is a fun movie. Of course, I'm talking about "Napoleon Dynamite", the little indie feature that was last year's sleeper hit.


"Pedro and Napoleon"
Made on a minimum budget, the movie caused a bidding war at Sundance last year, with Fox Searchlight paying three million dollars for it. Not bad for a flick that cost less than a half million to make. Of course, it went on to do over $40 million domestically, and was equally profitable on DVD.

The characters were oddly engaging, and the tone of the movie was unique. Anybody who doesn't go out and rent this movie right now is a "FREAKIN' IDIOT"! And be sure to watch the extra five minutes of footage that's shown after the credits finish; it's a cute epilogue to the film.

Triva: Jon Heder was paid $1,000 to play Napoleon Dynamite. Shot in 22 days. The movie was edited in producer Jeremy Coon's apartment using a $6,000 Macintosh with Final Cut Pro.

The final shoot day (with pictures, of course)

I'm only slightly LESS exhausted today, but here's something about the shoot, along with a few choice photos.

Ant brought us a surprise; a DVD with a rough cut of the first day's shoot. He's been working in secret editing on his home computer, and had a great little 2 minutes of assembled footage to show us. It looked really good, and our actors got a kick out of it. Good job, buddy!

The pressure was intense to finish in the time we had. We needed to get about 25 shots in two hours; I mean, even when Ed Wood was shooting "Plan 9", he had an easier schedule than that! We needed to work fast; and gosh darn it, we DID.

Typically, when one of us was operating the camera and directing (yes, we're embarassingly low-budget filmmakers), the other would scan the script and try to prepare for the next shot. Hence this highly stylized yet dramatic photo of myself, gripped with tension while planning our next move (yeah, right!)



Antony (for some reason I've started spelling Ant's name the way Paulina does) did a great job keeping things moving; I heard him say "That's great, but let's try one more take" only about 15 times last night, compared to his usual 30 or 40. My teeth feel good today, as I didn't need to grind them incessantly. Antony's unique and innovative style is demonstrated below. Ant directs Michael, who looks slightly befuddled as Ant says "Lean back against that wall, and then back up some more!" (Don't deny it Ant; we all heard you!)



James leapt into his character with enthusiasm and energy; his improvising had us struggling to keep from laughing out loud and ruining the take. Under brutal conditions he consistantly delivered. Some of the stuff he did was just TOO funny. It's really cool to call "cut" and look over at everyone else cracking up at what's been going on in front of the camera!



Something interesting happened once we started shooting...we got into a sort of frenetic rythym, where we began working as a team; knocking out shot after shot, getting our blocking done fast, everybody pitching in to position lights, props, etc. It was fun and energizing in a way I hadn't expected. By the time we had to pack it in, we'd gotten all the necessary shots done, and done well.



Ant and I want to thank James and Michael for all their hard work, patience, and talent; and it's been a blast working with them both. We're looking forward to finishing this project, and getting underway on our next one soon.

Thanks guys; and thanks Chad, Chad, and Paulina for your help also. And thanks Sound View studios for the use of your facilities and cameras (even if we DID bitch you out some behind your backs). And I'd like to thank all the members of the Acadamy and the Hollywood foreign press, my agent Mike Ovitz, all the little people who made this moment possible, and especially craft services for all the wonderful catering.

"You like me, you REALLY like me!"

It's (mostly) a wrap!

Tonight we had a very productive several-hour shoot. I'm completely exhausted after working a full day, then rushing down to the studio in time to set up for the shoot. It went great today, and we finished principal photography. Now all we've got is one short scene on location with Michael, and we're wrapped.

We may decide during the editing process that we need to reshoot some stuff, but for now, it feels AWESOME that we're "done", and can now get going with post.

YAY!

Now I'm going to sleep.

More tomorrow, with maybe pictures. More details at least.

Last night at the studio

Ant and I transferred our mini-DV footage from the last shoot to DVD and VHS for preliminary editing. Like last time, I'll take the VHS tape home and make notes on which takes are best, and what the time codes are for each. That way, when we transfer the digital data to the editing station, we'll be able to go right to the proper take and save time.



I can't remember if I posted any pictures of the production studio, so while I was waiting for Antony to show up I snapped a quick self portrait of me and the cameras. I've used the green screen for a test shoot to digitally insert a video backdrop, with the Panasonic GS-70 3-CCD camera, my notebook computer, and Pinnacle software. It works reasonably well, as long as the lighting is set up carefully.



We're set for Monday's shoot. I'll have new pictures to post afterwards, and hopefully we'll be officially in post next week.

Surviving the Shoot

We have another shoot date. Hopefully we'll wrap this mutha' up! One week from today, May 23rd.

I'm going to try to get to the studio a little early, since James said he's available all day. If I can get everything set up and get some shots done that only feature James, we'll be ahead of schedule when Ant and Michael get there.

"Survivor" finished up last night; did you see it?...the NYFD guy Tom outwitted, outlasted, and out-SCHMARTED his fellow players for the million bucks. I hope he's aware that the IRS is keeping tabs on these shows, and the days of getting a million dollars and NOT paying any taxes are long gone. That is, if they ever WERE here in the first place. Which I doubt. Or if they were here, I missed them. Because I've been paying taxes regularly, just like all the rest of you shnooks.



Did I mention that our own Michael was a finalist for this season's "Survivor"? He made it all the way down to the final cut before being passed over in favor of some dull, boring, whiney people. That's their loss, 'cause Michael's a bright, funny, entertaining guy. He'd make a great "Survivor"...that is, if he SURVIVES THIS SHOOT!

Which he might not, if I keep letting Anthony slam him around like he's been doing. No more stunts or pratfalls until we've got all the other shots done, OK pal? Then go right ahead and get brain damage for all I care!

Hey, now THERE'S a concept..."Special Survivor"! We'll follow the antics of a group of handi-capable young 'tards as they're cast loose in the wilds, only to perish as they fail to properly feed and care for themselves. Coming this fall on CBS.

Oh boy, give me one ticket please, First Class....to HELL!

One more week (and boat pics)

We have a scheduling conflict with one of our actors, so we're not going to get the next shoot day in until the 23rd. So this is a down week, where we'll be able to review the footage from our most recent shoot, and get started on some editing.

In the meantime, I launched my sailboat for the season just two days ago. We went out sailing the last two nights after work in light winds, and earlier this evening we took part in our first club race of the season.


Full Tilt
The wind was honking tonight! At times it topped 25-30 knots, which is fairly heavy for club racing. We were boarderline overpowered, which on a sailboat means you're heeling at about 35-45 degrees, and it's all you can do to hang on and control the boat...which isn't that easy, because the rudder tends to lift out of the water at that angle. Then, while rounding the first bouy, we got tangled up with two other boats, which led to a collision between us and a 27-footer, which hit us solidly amidships.


Imagine it coming straight at you
Luckily, nobody was hurt in the crash, and other than our toe-rail getting demolished and a grapefruit-sized chunk of fiberglass being crushed, we came through it remarkably well. After I bandaged the gaping wound in my hand (from the tiller getting wrenched away at the moment of impact), we resumed racing and ended up having a pretty good race.


My dinged digits and busted boat
Afterwards, over cold beers and potato skins, we discussed the incident with the other boat's skipper and crew. They (of course) suffered no damage whatsoever, having smashed us with their steel bow plate. However, they did admit to a reasonable amount of responsibility over the collision, and pretty much that's what I wanted to hear. At least nobody was killed...and we did beat them, which prevented them from adding literal insult to injury.

So, right now trying to type is a bitch with two fingers on my left hand bandaged up, but I'm glad we sailed tonight. We had a blast, and in spite of the damage and aches and pains, it was fun.

And in some ways, my sailing experience is similar to my filmmaking adventure; yeah, it might be a giant pain at times, but all in all, I'm sure it'll be worth it once we're done.

We hit 1,000!

Yay!

Of course, out of that 1,000 hits, if I could break it down, it'd look something like this:

Me (posting, and then seeing how it looks; compulsively): 319 hits
Cast and crew of current movie project (to see if I'm saying anything worth complaining to me about): 134 hits
Anthony (checking up on me, and collecting evidence for a future libel suit) 94 hits
Joyce (my wife, ditto on the checking up thing): 88 hits
Cherry Moon (fun blogger, and a really nice person who posts really nice things here): 48 hits
Jane Hamsher (author, extremely literate blogger, and Hollywood insider who's very encouraging about my filmmaking exploits): 33 hits
Misc. visitors who don't post, or single timers (c'mon people, even if I'm a frickin' loser, say so in the comments sections so I know people are at least slightly interested in my semi-incoherent ravings): 283 hits
Guy who called me a loser in the comments section: 1 hit

So, thanks folks! I'm gonna keep posting my nonsense, and I hope you keep reading it...hell, even if I'm not getting a million hits a week, I'm having fun. Hope you are, too!

Project Bug Light

It's a wrap! I'm talking about Project Green Light's movie "Feast", of course. Our movie is still in production. But I watched the latest episode of PGL the other night, and had some observations about it. Chris Moore specifically.

God, what a crybaby! He's more worried about being left out of a lousy screening of a rough cut of the movie than the success of the movie itself! He's as nutty as that runaway bride gal, Jennifer Wilbanks.


Chris "Psycho Eyes" Moore and Jen "Perpetually Surprised" Wilbanks
It looks like Director John Gulager managed to pull it off, at least as well as can be expected under extreme conditions. Everything was rushed, underfunded, and over-managed to an amazing degree, and yet it looks as if they may have filmed what can become a decent horror genre movie.

Yeah, a lot depends on the editing process. And the recent Disney-Miramax divorce might affect the film's eventual distribution. But if the movie IS released, I'll be willing to go see it. Especially to see the results of this weekly reality series that I've been following for way too many weeks.

So, after watching this week's episode (next Thursday is the season finale), I was still mesmerized by Chris "I Took Way Too Much Acid In College" Moore's eyes, and I started thinking...

I thought, wouldn't it be funny if Chris Moore and Jennifer "Extremely Bug-eyed Insane Runaway Bride" Wilbanks married and had a child? I wondered what their offspring might look like.

Well, if you know me, you know I'll have a suggestion. Take a good look at the cute lil' picture below, and tell me I'm right.


"Chris Wilbanks, Jr."

Indieclub.com

This is one of my favorite websites for independent filmmakers.



Click on www.indieclub.com

This is a text-based information exchange for people who make movies, and people who love movies. I became a member (no charge) about two years ago, and since then I've learned quite a bit about the art and science of filmmaking. Well, maybe just enough to take the plunge and make my own movie.

If you're new to the idea of making movies, join the website and read the informative, humorous, and spot-on posts about all aspects of modern independent cinema. And if you're already a film/videomaker, join and network with all the great movie folks there.

I'm going to spend the 24 bucks and become a sponsor member; I feel that I owe them at least that for all the info I've gleaned from their wonderful website.

Check it out.

Production Van for Sale

"Production Van 2000"
1994 Chevrolet G20 Van - 180K miles, V-8 engine, ladder rack, bashed-in rear door (works fine), body rot along underside of cargo doors, needs front brakes, couple of tires; otherwise reasonably good condition. Runs like a top (well, a top with body rot and 180K miles).

This historic van was used for production of "Death Knocks"; a certificate of authenticity available upon request. A true sacrifice at $995 (or best offer). Willing to trade for a decent pair of wireless lavalier mics, a good shotgun mic, and a mic mixer. Don't miss out on your chance to own a bit of independent movie history! Email for details. Bound to sell fast! Trust me, would I lie to you?

Present and Future(DV)

I slept like the proverbial log last night...hell, like a literal log for that matter; I've got the splinters to prove it!

The splinters actually came from all the wood I piled on the curb this morning for the bi-monthly "dump pickup" we have here in Milford. Every eight weeks during the warm months our neighborhood is littered with junk heaped in front of each house for a few days before each pickup. Joyce suffers from "Junk Envy"; if a neighbor has a bigger pile than us, she feels like we aren't doing our job and throwing out enough stuff. So this morning, energized from a solid night's sleep, I got motivated and cleaned out a pile of junk lumber that's been sitting beside our shed for several years. When she gets home from work tonight she's sure to be impressed.

(I know Joyce reads this blog, so I just want to say, "Ha-ha honey! Luv ya!")


The Present
I spoke to Ant this morning...he suddenly remembered that he gave Michael a $20 bill for a prop and forgot to retrieve it when we wrapped for the night. Now THAT'S funny!

We talked about the shoot and what we need to do to finish. We'll review the footage later this week and assemble a list of shots we still need to get. Since we're not going to shoot for a couple of weeks, continuity issues are coming into play. Michael's scheduled for a haircut before then, but he's not going to do anything bizarre (I hope...no BUZZCUT!) I'm sure it won't be a problem.

I enjoy directing and intend to continue doing so, but if I lived in Hollywood and worked in the movie business, I think I'd end up being a Line Producer. I'm hyper-aware of the logistics and scheduling, I like the challenge of getting things done, and I'm imposing enough to cajole, threaten, or physically beat our crew and actors into submission as needed to stay on time. Not that I'd need to do that on THIS movie, but it's always good to keep your options open (hint, hint).


The Future?
For the next shoot we've got to arrange more time at the studio somehow. I'm going to have to talk to the staff and see if we can get someone to be on our side and agree to keep it open beyond their normal cutoff time...I'd like to be able to wrap studio shooting this next time. We'll see...

Day Two of the Big Shoot

Just got back from tonight's shoot. I'm somewhat played, but have enough energy for a quick post.

The shoot went great. We added a bunch of shots in the roughly two hours of time we were given. Load-in and setup took about an hour, which Anthony and I did because neither of our Chads could make it (last minute). Then the actors arrived, and after some costume modifications we got our first shot in by a few minutes after 6PM.


Did you ever get the feeling Death was hovering nearby?
We had to be out of there by 8:30, so we set up a cutoff time of 8:10 for our last shot. We worked like maniacs for the two hours, and I'll have to consult my shot list to be sure, but I'd guess we got at least 20 shots in. We literally grabbed shots one after the other; because all the action was taking place in one room, we didn't have to move too much equipment or lighting between shots. Our actors did a terrific job of going from scene to scene effortlessly while under extreme pressure. Kudos to the both of you.

Get used to seeing that costume pictured above...we're on such a low budget, it's probably going to be featured in our next five movies.

We agreed to another day of shooting, probably in about two weeks. More details tomorrow...it's time to crash for the night.

Anthony Tarantino

Every time I see Ant act, I'm impressed. He's amazing...look at him putting himself into his own movie! I'd start calling him "Quentin", but I think he's a better actor than Tarantino. Just look at him emote surprise and outrage -


"You CRAZY, mang!"
We're all set for tomorrow. Everyone will be there for the shoot, with the exception of Paulina, who's got a gig in the Big Apple (75 minutes away by train) tomorrow. She doesn't have any scenes left, but she's a big help as crew and has an extra camera. However, we'll do fine with the two Chads and us as crew.

We're going to knock out most of the rest of the scenes and put together a rough cut sometime in the following week or so. Then we'll see where we are and what more needs to be done.

Oh, and I'm thinking about selling "Production Van 2000". I need to raise funds for a decent wireless mic setup, and maybe a shotgun mic.

I dunno, it seems like a reasonable idea to me.

Racking Focus

This is a great way to make sure your camera is properly focused. You need what's called a Sieman's Star (also called a "Five Degree Focus Pattern") which I downloaded from www.rondexter.com, which is a great website for filmmaking info and downloads. It's a bunch of alternating black and white wedges connected at a point in the center. Each wedge is five degrees wide, hence the name.


Chad holding the card
What you do is this: make sure your camera has a manual focus setting, put it on manual, then have a production assistant hold the card at the focus position (for example, where your actor's face will be). Zoom in on the card, rack the focus back and forth until the fuzzy area in the middle disappears or gets very small. Zoom back to frame your scene, and you're done. It works like magic!

"The Phantom Attack of the Clone Menace"

Today was a rare "down-time" day...there's nothing that needs doing today regarding Monday's shoot. Plus, it's raining and miserable outside, so we're just hanging out home. Which is nice do to once in a while. When we get a chance.

Joyce and I have been watching Episode's I and II of the Star Wars saga this week, in preparation of seeing "Revenge of the Sith" sometime soon. We saw "The Phantom Menace" Wednesday night, and today we watched "Attack of the Clones".

What struck me about the basic plot of the continuing story is that a lot of problems could have been avoided if people just sat down and talked, rather than immediately going to war to get their way. Now, I'm not a huge fan of the series, but I enjoy watching the movies. I'm sure there are super-nerds out there who will defend the necessity of galactic war to solve these problems, but I just can't help but draw some very interesting parallels here.

Director Kevin Smith raved about "The Revenge of the Sith" in his blog, and he's a big Star Wars fan. Not only that, but he was fairly critical of the last two installments, which is rare when you live and work in the Hollywood movie business; his frankness about those movies lead me to believe it when he says that the new one is gonna be great! He did say it's dark, like a thousand times darker than "The Empire Strikes Back"...if that's true, it'll be awesome! (And NO EWOKS allowed!)

Oh, I actually DID do one thing today that's related to our shoot; one of our scenes involves an empty cardboard toilet paper roll as a prop (you can tell already what a class movie this obviously will be), and as fate would have it, TWO became available today. One through regular biological needs (again with the classiness), and the other (in the downstairs W.C.) because it was down to maybe 30 sheets, which I spun off the roll and used to clean the mirror. Yeah, I'm sure I could have done the job with four or five sheets, but I figured this way I wasn't REALLY wasting it.

Hmmm...we ARE going out for Mexican food tonight; maybe I should have saved some of it for later!

I wanted to see "HHGTTG" tonight!

Last night I managed to get a reasonable night's sleep, uninterrupted by any anxieties in the form of arrogant movie stars or unfinished scripts. For the most part.

Then a goddamned fire truck blasted by my house at 5:16 this morning, cranking the siren AND the air horn for good effect. I can't win.

I finished logging the footage today, and did some minor prep work for Monday's shoot. Believe it or not, I'm fairly relaxed going into this shoot. Sure, I'd like to work out some audio issues, but the scenes we're doing are gonna be so much fun it'll be worth the hassles. I probably won't need Production Van 2000; I can load most of the stuff in my car. Trust me, the less mileage I put on that rattle wagon, the better!

I'm planning on buying a wireless lavalier mic ASAP; I'm going cheap, but with a good name. The Audio Technica model ATW-201/L has a receiver, transmitter, and lavalier mic, all for under $125 online. I don't think I'll be able to buy it until sometime before our next project, so we're stuck with what we have for now. We'll manage to make it work.


Cast of THHGTTG
Joyce got called into work tonight, so we cancelled plans to see "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I'm a big fan of Doublas Adams's books and the excellent BBC radio plays, and I'm really looking forward to seeing the flick. I think casting the perfectly droll Alan Rickman as the voice of "Marvin" was BRILLIANT!

Someone tell me why this happens?

Did you ever have a bad dream that was so intense that even after you woke up you still felt weird? Did you ever have a dream that was so real that you couldn't wake up? A dream where you took a red pill and suddenly woke up in a futuristic cocoon filled with pink gel and found you've got all these hoses hooked up to you?

No?

Wait a minute...I'm thinking of "The Matrix"...never mind!

But I did have a nightmare this morning.

The dream went like this: I was at some kind of cool party somewhere in SoHo or Tribeca. It looked like we were in a trendy loft, and there were all these top level movie people there I recognized. I found myself chatting with a small group of actors and filmmakers.

Among them was one of my film heroes, Robert De Niro. Somehow, the subject of screenwriting came up, and even though I was WAY out of my league with this crowd and should have just kept quiet, anyone who's been reading this blog for any length of time has to know that reasonable discretion isn't an instinct I possess. So I mentioned that I was writing a screenplay for a feature I was planning to shoot.


"You talkin' to me?"
Everyone stopped talking and looked at me. Bobby De Niro (hey, I'm at the party, so I figure I can refer to him like he's a good friend) stared at me with his "I'm gonna whack this fuckin' guy" look from "Goodfellas". I broke out in a cold sweat. Any second now Joe Pesci is gonna shoot me in the foot, I just know it!

De Niro says, "Well, let's take a look at it," and motions for me to give it to him. I'm panicking, since it was only a rough draft, and I knew there were lots of things I wanted to change. But how do you say NO to Bobby D?

Apparently I had a copy with me (Jeez, who wrote this dream, anyway? There's no way I'd EVER carry around a first draft of a script where someone might see it!) and I reluctantly handed it to him. With horror, I watched as he read it. He flipped pages, grimacing and making growling statements, like "Are you serious wit' dis shit?" and "You gotta be kidding me!". It was awful!

He gets to the end of the script and holds it up for the group, saying "This fuckin' sucks!". I'm completely mortified! Then he says, "I think maybe I can fix some of these problems here." He starts going through the script, making changes with a pen. He comments on the dialogue of scenes that I fully intended to revise, and without listening to me he makes modifications. I'm trying to object, saying I was going to do that, but he ignores me and continues.

Finally, he finishes, and says "Now you've got a script that will make a good film." I'm totally humiliated, because he never gave me a chance to finish the script, and now I don't even want to shoot it, because it's not MY script. His friends applaud his screenwriting skills, and they detach themselves from me so fast that it's like I'm suffering from an uncontrollably vicious public attack of irritable bowel syndrome!

(Side note: now THAT'S good writing there...try and top that, MISTER TRAVIS BICKLE!)

I woke up angry and disappointed. Angry with De Niro for fucking with MY script, and disappointed with myself that I didn't have the finished version ready for him to read. But honestly, I didn't expect anyone to want to see it yet!

(sigh) I wonder if these friggin' anxiety dreams are a part of the filmmaking process? Because it's exhausting to wake up freaking out several times a week! Did Kubrick ever have to go through this kind of shit?

Logging the Footage

I'm rewatching the footage we have on VHS; we transferred the video from the mini-DV tapes to a single VHS cassette, for preliminary use. Now I'm making notes on various takes and logging the time stamp of good takes so I won't load up the editing system with the roughly 80% of the video we're absolutely not going to use. If there are two or more takes that are reasonably similar, I'll keep them in. Then we'll be able to do a rough cut based on the footage that's acceptable.


Yucking it up between takes
This time around I'm noticing all the little details that weren't so apparent at first. Like the take where James and Michael spill the coffee is a good laugh and will make the blooper reel. Actually, we've got WAY more bloopers than usable footage; I'm not altogether sure that's a GOOD thing. We're also going to try to put together a "Making of..." video, but everyone was pretty much working during the shoot and didn't have the chance to video us making the movie. We've got some stuff we can use, but that's not a primary concern right now...we just want to finish the shoot and get going on post-production.

Monday is going to be "Day Two" of the Big Shoot. More accurately, "Night Two". Or "Night One", since we shot during the day the first time around. Wait, I'm going to stick with "Day Two" and be done with it. Good, I'm glad I settled that.

We'll have about two good hours of studio use, and we're hoping to get a lot of the rest of the movie done. Regarding the footage we already have, there are some scenes with very minor continuity issues (mostly insignificant), but we have the option to do a quick reshoot next Monday in the hallway. One quick take and done. I hope.

Lighting will be very much an issue, and I'm hoping to get to the studio a couple hours early to set up and get most of the set ready. That way our actors and show up and start working without a lot of wasted time. The setups are very simple for these scenes, so we should be able to work fast. I hope.

Note to self for next movie: Be sure to secure the location for 8-12 hour blocks to save unnecessary effort on setting up and breaking down. That's not really an option here, but for later projects we'll make that a major concern.

Equal Time for Anthony

Now that we're in production, Anthony wants to be able to post here, too. Since we're using the "FutureDV" name for our ersatz "production company", I guess its only fair that I allow him to have the occasional post here...rather than his sneaky anonymous jabs in the "comments" section. (Just kidding, buddy!)


Anthony, Bob, Paulina, and the Panasonic camera
Other things that are noteworthy; for the rest of this project and all future movies, we're going to delagate someone to be Director of Photography. It's obvious you can't direct and be a DP without missing some things...there's just too damn many things going on during a shoot, and someone needs to concentrate fully on framing the shots, balancing the lighting, and operating the camera.

That will free up the Director to work with the actors and be creative. I know personally that there were some stage directions I wanted to give my actors but didn't have the time because I was busy futzing with the camera.

Yes, I'll admit it...I said "futzing". It's an old Sicilian word roughly translated as "screwing with".

Also, I'm beginning to see the wisdom in the traditional structure of a film crew, and how important individual jobs are. You need a Sound person to monitor and balance the audio. You need a Script Supervisor to mark off shots and keep an eye on continuity. You definitely need Production Assistants to get you a cup of coffee when you're too busy. And you should have a big guy with a loud voice and a firm committment to the production to be your Line Producer, who, among other things, will keep everyone in line (not that that's the REASON he's called a "Line" Producer).

An Assistant Director would be helpful also, to pick up the slack of the Director and DP. At this level, we may be asking a lot for this many crew, but it's something to work towards.

Today we've been trying to schedule the next shoot date. Problem is, we won't have the studio for more than a few hours any weeknight next week, so we're trying to line everybody up as early as possible to get as much done as we can. If we can get a good three hours of production in, we'll be 90% finished. We're still hoping for Monday.

First Look

Just got back from the studio, where we got a look at the recorded footage and boy, are we impressed! Michael, James and Paulina all did an amazing job, and in spite of our utter lack of experience, the first look is really impressive.


Anthony at the editing station
Sure, there were things that we could have improved upon, such as a few instances of sketchy lighting and audio difficulties, and occasionally on some takes you can catch a glimpse of an audio cable, but overall we've got a lot of top-notch usable footage. Considering our crew had little to no experience, the fact that things look as good as they do is fantastic. (hint: shoot in black and white, and you save a lot of time)

The next step is to catalog what we have, determine if we want any additional coverage, then plan the next shoot date, tentatively a week from today (Monday, May 2nd). That'll give us enough time to begin to organize the editing process. Effectively, we're both in PRODUCTION and POST.

We're beginning to realize that this is our film school. We're learning a hell of a lot during this process, and I can already tell that the results are going to be worth all the effort.

The Big Shoot: Day One

Today was the big shoot.

It turns out that this is "Day One" of the big shoot. Which is fine, as you'll see here. Better fasten your seat belt folks...this is a long ride!

I picked up Chad ("Green"...I'll explain later) and drove to the shoot. We got to the studio around 8AM, and promptly found we were locked out. Anthony called me on the cell phone and said there was a huge line at Dunkin' Donuts, so he'd be a few minutes late with the donuts. Not a problem. Then Paulina said she wanted a bagel. With cream cheese. Okay, maybe it's a problem now. But not really. We just joked about her being the "Bagel Princess", and let it go at that.

A guard finally appeared and let us in the building around 8:20, but after loading in all the equipment we were still too early for the actual studio to be open, so we were waiting in the heated and non-rain-swept hallway instead of outdoors, which was OK.


The homeless film crew

We spent the time doing some blocking and rehearsing, since quite a few scenes were to be shot right there in the hallway. This was the first time the two leads Michael and James met each other, and I was glad to see that they got along great. In fact, because of the way auditions and rehearsals went, most of the cast and crew met each other for the first time at that moment.


James running into Michael for the first time

At 9 the studio doors opened, and we immediately took over the green room. Over donuts and coffee we briefed the crew on what we'd be working on. Michael wanted a cup of real coffee for a prop, and I told him that there's no NEED for coffee to actually be in his cup; we'd just brewed a pot and it was scalding hot. I said, "You're an actor...ACT like you have coffee in the cup!" He smirked and poured himself a cup anyway. Fine, I thought, no big deal.


James, Paulina, Michael

The cast got into their wardrobe and we set up for the shoot. One of the early scenes required James to nearly bump into Michael while he's holding his stupid cup of coffee, with Paulina waiting off-scene to enter. On the second take, James crashed into Michael, demolishing the cup and spraying coffee all over the both of them! Being the sensitive, artistic-type director I am, I resisted saying "I told ya so!", and simply enjoyed a long and somewhat hysterical laugh. Fortunately, my actors aren't the thin skinned types, and they rolled with it and laughed too.


"He spilled my coffee!"

Chad "Red" and Chad "Green" worked grip and gaffer duty, and Chad "Red" also acted as an extra in the hallway. We had to name them that to differentiate between them, so we used their primary wardrobe colors. I don't know what the odds are to get TWO Chads on a five man crew, but considering that it has to be a long shot, I stopped at the 7-11 on the way home and bought a Powerball ticket.


Chad and Chad

Michael and James continually amazed us with their acting abilities and enthusiasm. I still can't believe how lucky we were to get them! These guys both give 110%, even if the script calls for pratfalls, wearing a suffocating costume, or being tossed around like rag dolls. Guys, you fuckin' RULE!

Paulina also gave a wonderful performance. We told her to act mad at Michael. She asked "how big should I act?" I said BIG. Anthony said "Give it that Latino fire." We did a few takes, and each time she did it bigger and madder and funnier! By the last take I had to clamp my hand over my mouth so I didn't ruin the take by laughing. She's a star!


Paulina, Michael

Chad (red) spent last night with us at the studio learning about the mics, so he was a huge help with that, general production assistance, and running the script during the longer dialogue scenes. Chad (green) is a good friend of mine and crewman on my racing sailboat, last week he agreed to be a grip on our movie. He did a great job being "go-to guy", along with using the digital still camera to document the shoot. Paulina also doubled on her camera and helped us immensely as crew.

The audio situation slowed down things. We didn't have wireless mics, and the lavs that we used weren't top notch by any means...we pretty much had to reshoot some takes because I heard too much static through the monitor headset. Our actors were always tripping over the cables, and one take of Paulina poking her finger into Michael's chest sounded like civil war artillery in my headset, because she managed to nail the mic that we taped under his shirt with her finger!


Me, deafened by Paulina's vigorous poking!

I'm sure that we'll manage to get better sound than what we'd get by using the on-camera mics, but I know we can do better, and maybe soon I'll spring for a cheap pair of wireless mics and a shotgun mic. Probably $400-500 will get us stuff that'll do the trick acceptably well. Not only will it sound better, but it'll save TIME and EFFORT. That's the ticket!

We broke for lunch just after noon, and I spoke with the studio manager. She let me know that they had to close at 2:30, which gave us less than 2 hours of shooting time left. I went back to our crew and explained that we could kill ourselves, or plan on coming back ASAP to finish the taping. Everyone was thrilled with the work we'd done so far, and agreed to come back in 10 days and finish the thing (except for some minor additional footage that can be done anytime).

After lunch we finished the hallway and elevator scenes. Anthony did a hysterical cameo in his own movie by playing a nonplussed Hispanic janitor. I can't wait to see the "rushes" on Monday...that's when we have the editing equipment reserved, so we can download from mini-DV onto VHS or DVD to study what we've got so far.


Paulina, Anthony, Chad (red)

You know what's cool? I didn't forget a SINGLE FUCKING THING! We had so much junk packed into the production van that basically, anytime somebody needed something, we either had it right there in the studio, or we ran out to the van. All that worry paid off, 'cause we had everything we needed.

So we packed up around 2:15, after a good four hours of shooting. We've probably got another four or so left, but we're getting there, and next time we'll be shooting in a much more controllable space. We'll even get to use our fog machine!

I can't wait!

Fingers crossed!

10 hours from now we're at the studio. I have to try to get some sleep tonight. This is what's going through my head right now:

"Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything? Did you forget anything?"

That, and this:

"Are you SURE?"

There's nothing more for me to do but try to relax. I've done everything in my power to ensure that the shoot is prepared.

The pre-production phase is officially over.

Now it's PRODUCTION time! I'll try to post something by tomorrow night, but I can't guarantee how much detail I'll provide. We'll see.